Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize
