hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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