Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
