Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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