he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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