i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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