Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
