who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
