it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
My vagina just recognized that song.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
