Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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