I'd wear matching sweaters with you
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She bit a glass in half.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
