How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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