After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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