Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
