but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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