Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
