I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
