38 yer olds are good kisserssss
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
