Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
