I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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