I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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