Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
