Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
