So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
