we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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