i'm signing you up for texting rehab
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
