So drunk its hurt
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
