I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
There r osticjed everywhere
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
