I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
this just has baby written all over it
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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