gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
