Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
