got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
