is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
