I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
