You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Never let your siblings swipe right.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
