Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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