I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
It's just like the Real World with babies
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I could fuck to npr.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
