just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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