Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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