Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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