I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize