Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
soo... how was my night?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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