Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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