i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
