i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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