you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
