I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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