oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
