omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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