Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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