I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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